2011 is the year that went by so fast, maybe a little too fast. It’s the year your so called friend walks out of your life, and it’s the year you realize who the real ones are. It’s the year you felt the most pressure to the point where you gave up so many times but you’re still learning how to get back up. It’s the year you said you were going to accomplish great things yet you feel like you’ve just wasted time. It’s the year you cried over too many pointless things, too many times. It’s the year you look back on all the lifetime memories in which you find yourself missing the people in them. But it’s also the year you move on, slowly, and you realize that everything will be okay. And it did, eventually. :)
Thank you for inviting Lolo to be with You on this day. We are not saddened by his death because we know he is happy and fortunate enough to celebrate this day personally with You. Have a Merry Christmas everyone. C: #bittersweet
Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we’re already fightin’.
Noah: Well that’s what we do, we fight… You tell me when I am being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are a pain in the ass. Which you are, 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a 2 second rebound rate, then you’re back doing the next pain-in-the-ass thing.
Allie: So what?
Noah: So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, for ever, you and me, every day. Will you do something for me, please? Just picture your life for me? 30 years from now, 40 years from now? What’s it look like? If it’s with him, go. Go! I lost you once, I think I can do it again. If I thought that’s what you really wanted. But don’t you take the easy way out.
I’d really like to spend the holidays with you. The seasons are greeting us, the night’s just right, and mistletoe’s aplenty. I’ll hang some LED lights,pull the plastic Christmas tree off the shelves in the garage, and brew us a nice cup of instant hot chocolate. I’ll grab you by the waist or you'll probably grab mine and close my eyes, thinking all the while that Santa’s not coming to my house this year. I’ve already got what I want from my wishlist, and that’s you. #you-know-who-you-are
No words can describe how I feel right now. Except maybe my prayers go out to the victims of typhoon Sendong in CDO and Iligan, Philippines. This picture is of a father carrying his daughter… His dead daughter. Right now more than 600 people died because of typhoon Sendong, and about 300 are still missing. Please help them. Let's all pray for them.
*Not my photo
There are certain people who come into your life and leave a mark. Their place in your heart is tender; a bruise of longing, a pulse of unfinished business. Just hearing their names pushes and pulls at you in a hundred ways. And when you try to define those hundred ways, describe them even to yourself, words are useless.
What do you feel when you love someone? If distilled down to it’s core components, what would those be? Yes, love is an emotion, a feeling, a wanting, and a “being”. We know it feels good, but what specific feelings, wantings, and beings are present when we feel love?
Love is Accepting.
Acceptance is labeling someone as “okay” and having no particular desire to change them. Who they are is perfectly fine with you. You pose no condition on whether you will love them or not. This is called unconditional love. When your love is conditional, the moment they step outside your set of conditions, love wanes. Consequently, love is rarely a constant state but fluctuates based on our degree of acceptance.
Love is Appreciating.
Appreciation is one step beyond acceptance. Its when your focus is on what you like about another. We look at them and feel this sweeping appreciation for who they are, their joy, their insights, their humor, their companionship, etc. When someone says they are “in love” with another, they mean their appreciation is so enormous for this person that it consumes their every thought.
Love is Wanting Another to Feel Good.
We want those we love to be happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled. We want them to feel good in all ways, physically, mentally and emotionally.
OOOHH MEEEN! These chick-flick movies made me want
to talk about love again! Pfft.
Life is a series of bridges. The hardest part is deciding which ones to cross and which to burn. Figuring out who to leave behind and who is worth risking it all. Who will be there waiting with open arms at the other end? Who will be cutting the rope as soon as you step on? You realize whether you’ve made the right decision when you’re about halfway across, but by that point, it’s too late to turn around. You have to push forward, slowly and carefully or quickly and recklessly. Whichever way you choose, you can’t look down, you can’t be afraid, there is no room for second guessing. Even when you’re hanging by a thread, even if the foundation is shaking, even when the fire at your back creeps closer, even when you lose sight of the other side, keep your head up, eyes forward, and faith strong. Doing all you can to resist the temptation to jump.
I don't mind being called strange. Strange is a definition of not being pulled in by the crowd and do what everybody else is doing because that's exactly how my whole life has been. I've been so.. different (if that's how I simplify it, and to make it look sane).
You know my old habit of how I write stuffs on my notepad just to keep my thoughts flowing and it's not just about one particular stuff, occasionally about family stuffs, mostly about what I go through, what randomly pops in my head. So I really don't mind if some people don't get it, I'm cool with it.
I've been kinda busy these past few weeks. :3
Finals, Research Study, Pre-oral defense! Pfft.
Everything's over and done. Thank God. :DD HELLOOOOO SEMBREAK!!!! Ugh. I'm 'effin excited to go home.
A wise man sat in the audience and cracked a joke. Everybody laughs like crazy. After a moment, he cracked the same joke again. This time, less people laughed. He cracked the same joke again and again. When there is no laughter in the crowd...
He smiled and said,
"You can't laugh at the same joke again and again, but why do you keep crying over the same thing over and over again?"
We were given a looong weekend at school, so I decided to go home. I miss home so much-my bed, my family, everything! I’m happy I’d be able to spend time here.
So, one of my friends came to visit me this weekend. Last night we were discussing certain past situations and jokingly labelled them as "emotional terrorism”. We laughed and continued on our conversation, enjoying a full evening of each other's company, snacks, and movies. After waking up this morning, our conversation wandered down the path of romance, but this time we kept the discussion in the present or future tense.
At one point, this bubbly friend looked me straight in the eye and told me that the only way to have a successful relationship was to not let go of your emotions. She insisted we needed to evaluate a potential partner with our logic, rather than our hearts and date someone for a while before even beginning to open up emotionally. I listened and nodded.
Later this afternoon I was hanging out with some friends and surprised myself when I made a comment during another conversation about romance. I swear, I talk about more topics than this. It just happened to be the subject of the weekend apparently! LOL Basically I suggested that I could enter into all the actions of a relationship without any of the emotional attachment or strings that came with it. I said perhaps it would be better if I kept my feelings in check and just carried through with the motions of dating to avoid the possibility of being vulnerable or hurt. My friend expressed surprise that I would be able to do this.
I realize how ridiculous that statement was! First of all, after thinking more about what I said I realized I don't think I am capable of doing something like that. Secondly, even if I was, I don't want to be a person like that.
But I didn't trust my own thoughts, because as already proven, they can be faulty at times. The only thing that heals those wounds is love. So though I had momentarily been convinced that putting my heart in time out would help keep it safe, I know that the ability to love and feel is the only thing turning the wrongs of our life to right.
Rather than shutting out the chances to love, it's important to let it rest in the arms of its rightful companion which is ”WISDOM". Making mistakes in love is just a part of being alive, but rather than closing it out and declaring it bad, it is important we learn from our errors and move on to love more successfully in the future.
So I am taking my heart out of time out and giving myself a break. I will not allow my past to emotionally terrorize my present and fill my future with fearful inaction. Instead I will learn from the past and make wiser decisions about my future. But my decisions are to love smarter, not love less, because loving smarter lets me love stronger.
So I guess the old habit's back. Here I am writing crap out of my head and hoping in the future I'd be able to look back and think, "wow, now that's true inspiration" because when nobody else in this world is willing to give you any advice, sometimes the only person you have to rely on is yourself.
These past few weeks I've learned a lot. Probably too much to handle for someone easily frustrated like me. Rejection, failure, loss, and heartache.. All in less than a month. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of going on in life, if every sacrifice I put into was in vain. Or what's the use of dreaming, if the future is dictated for you. Or what's the use in trusting someone, if at the end of the day you're on your own.
But you know what, that's just a blessing in disguise. It might seem terrible and painful, but maybe that's just the thing I need. A massive wake up call.. for the fact that it's the wrong path I've been taking and I should just change lanes.
Well at the moment I am happy on how things are going for me. I am happy that I've grown as a person, I've become more mature. And the thing I'm happiest about is that I've reconnected with GOD. I am building a much deeper relationship with HIM. And guess what? That's all I really need.
"Those who joyfully leave everything in God's Hand, will eventually see God's Hand in everything."
You see that girl staring into space? If you were to ask what's wrong, she would say nothing. When in reality it's everything. She's sitting there wondering what she did wrong, what she could have done differently, how she would have changed it if she had the chance. And if she had the chance to go back and do it over again, would it end with the same result? That's why she stares.
It’s the scariest thing ever to realize how much someone means to you. When it hits you, I mean really hits you, all these thoughts and questions rush through your head at once. A sad emotion even starts to creep on you slowly inch by inch as you start to wonder.
What if for some reason things don’t work out? – How are you possible to live without them?
Someone that was once a stranger now is the only person you know like the back of your hand. Someone you once had no emotions for, now has the power to break your heart. Someone you never used to hang out with, now owns most of your time. Someone you never thought you love, now owns your entire heart. Someone you once lived without, you now wish to hold onto forever.
BUT nothing's ever forever, forever's a lie. All we have is between hello and goodbye.
You can hide the pain that you feel and make others believe you can move on but you can never deny the truth to yourself that the person who has failed and hurt you is still the person you’ll always choose to love.
Just this morning, the members of the SNAP (Student Nurses Association of the Philippines)-CPU Council participated in a Medical Outreach held at Core Shelter Area, Uswag Village, Jaro, Iloilo City with the Rotary Theme: “Reach Within to Embrace Humanity”. We are very fortunate for having been able to partake in this event. I really like going to medical missions ever since. It gives me a feeling of fulfilment that I am able to serve those who really are in need and who are suffering from abject poverty.
I was assigned together with 4 of my classmates to the Medical Education area. Some members of the Rotarac Club Iloilo were also there to help us through. It’s quite challenging because we have to make sure that every person understood clearly what their medication is and how they are going to consume them (plus the fact that there were countless of people there and every person has various medicines. CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?). IKR. Whew!
But you know what? No matter how exhausted I am, at the end of the day I’m still very pleased. Seeing the smiles of the people there (especially the kids and the elderly) and hearing them say “Thank You” is so overwhelming that no amount of money can ever compare to that. Hihi. :)
What a day! I need to rest though. I’m so dead on your feet. Tssssss.
I wasn’t able to eat my meal for breakfast. I’m afraid I’ll be late for duty so I just had a glass of green tea. We’re currently on duty in the community, so we’re ought to bring a packed lunch. We had lunch there with the family assigned to us. After duty I was craving for spaghetti, so I had one. Nam. Nam. Then after that, just random foodstuff (CHIPS & some SWEETS). I told you, I eat a lot. OINKY! LOL.
Our 3 weeks of exposure in Asilo de Molo has already ended. And believe me, it’s not easy. At first I thought I will be pleased because it would mean NO more mopping the floor, No more washing the dishes, No more cleaning the droppings (poop) of the elderly and at last we say adieu to the unpleasant smell of the place. (Forgive me, I’m just being honest-not a hypocrite who pretends to do otherwise).
BUT as what they say, things happen for a reason. As time goes by, I started to do things not because I have to but because I want to; not because I was asked to but because I’m happy to. I’ve learned to care for those people whom I barely know. “Those people” now became a significant part of me. I’ve learned to love them.
The Lolo’s and Lola’s in Asilo are special. They may not have the best of everything (some had gone through difficulties and sickness which you wouldn’t ever wish to go through) but they have been blessed with people who truly care for them. And I thank God for giving me the opportunity to have this experience which I’ll never ever forget.
Let me share some pics with you:
This is Lola Mag’s. She’s my super duper best lola ever! We have a special relationship and I it was heartbreaking when I said goodbye. She really cried and it made me cry too! I’m really gonna miss her! :’(
Lola is sooo cute when she’s making faces like this. Yaaaay! :)
One of our “train-train” moment. :P
Lola is showcasing her talent which is SINGING! Haha.
Here, I told Lola to give chance to others because she insists on singing more. Haha. She’s really so adooooorable!
Lola’s FANS. Hahaha!
Here with Lolo Esperidion. He is disoriented to time, place and person and with a right sided paralysis. Taking care of him is a challenge but I don’t mind. It’s the 2nd time I was assigned to him. The first time was when I was still in 3rd year.
The ever cute and cuddly Lola Leah! :))
Here with the most well behaved Lolo Kiko. Obviously, his favourite hobby is sleeping. Haha!
Posing with the pink plates we donated. Haha!
With Fil Am & Julyen. HAHAHA!
How I wish my own grandparents were still alive. I could have cared for them even more. It’s sad how I was able to do things for others and not do it for them. It’s one of the things deeply regret. How I wish I could turn back time. :(
If you want to know more about ASILO de MOLO, simply "google it". :P
While I was having a break from studying (I badly need it cause I think my brain’s gonna explode), I hit upon this pic and it made me LOL. hahaha! I can super relate!!! I'm sure you too! Well anyhow, GOODLUCK on our exams! Imma burn my midnight candles yet again. Pft.
I love so much about him that it is hard to pick just a couple of things out. I love the way he laugh. I love the way he smile. I even love it when he makes me mad and don't know why. I love how when he upsets me, he try so hard to make it better. I am so in love with him that I don't go one minute without wishing that I was with him. Happy Birthday my migooooo! <3
My parents are everything to me-though I don’t think they know that really. I’m not very open about how I feel (I know, right?). They’re not perfect and so am I. We may have gone through a lot of arguments and struggles still I know they only want what’s best for me. Even now, they still call me “bhe” (short for baby). I can’t put into words how much I appreciate everything they’ve done for me and how much I love them. I will not trade them for anything in the world.
*This is a picture of our family from our latest summer trip! We visited this place called "The RUINS". Supeeeeer nice! :)
NO CLASSES! Yeeeyy. :)) Thank You JR (Jose Rizal)--Feeling Close. Hahaha! You saved me yet again from a stressful day plus giving me ultra mega time to lay on my comfy bed and above all a NO CLASS BUT WITH ALLOOOOWAAANCE day! Thank Yooou! You're definitely my HERO! We could be the best of friends, Yaa know! :P
For readers from across the globe:
Jose Rizal is the Philippine’s National Hero.
We are celebrating his 150th Birthday, so it’s an instant holiday!
FAMILY! Hihi. :P But if you mean a person whom I consider my first love.. Well, for that instance.. PASS! Hahaha. I don’t have so much to say about that one. But right now I’m in love, and this one is for keeps.
Last night, Nang Rochel-the best roommate ever, offered me a Mc Donald’s treat! Who could say no to that? Hihi. Yum. Yum. Yum. I was actually craving for McDo for some time now. I just had no time to go out because I’m already weighed down with school work. Take note: we just started yesterday. IKR? Pfft.
She will be leaving the dormitory-slash-me :( within this week because she will have to fly to Manila for her review. I’m really gonna miss her so bad.
We shared a lot of things. When she’s upset, she’ll tell me everything. When I need something she’ll be there to help out. She’s like a sister I never had. The thought of her leaving is so heartbreaking.
Mind you, for almost 2 years as roommates we never ever had a fight! We super click with each other. Haaay. We’ll still keep in touch though. I wish her all the best and I’ll pray that she will be able to pass her board exam-which I know she will! :)
Oh well. Life goes on. People come and go but those who became special will forever leave a mark. McDo and Manang-Love ko 'to! :)
I’m Allysia Mae Lopez. My nick name is EA-pronounced as “IYA”. Allysia is pronounced as A’lay’shia NOT Alicia. No biggie actually, I’m just used to correct people whenever they mispronounce my name-which btw happens all the time! Pft. I’m on my senior year as a student nurse at Central Philippine University here in Iloilo City. View my complete PROFILE to know more about me! :)
For those who have no idea why I posted this click HERE.
You know, I've been trying my best but more often my best isn't just enough. I give them something they keep on looking for more. It’s the thought that should count right? Or maybe I’m wrong. It seems like everything I do is not right and they are not contented with it or maybe with ME. Then, they’ll end up hating me.
I have been stuck here in my room because we had an “extended vacation”. Classes are supposed to start last Monday BUT by that time the schedules aren’t ready yet. So, the whole week we are FREE from school. I don’t know if I’m really cheery about that. Don’t get me wrong, I loooove holidays especially the “unexpected ones” but knowing CPU College of Nursing I bet we’re going to have an EXTENSION to pay for those days we haven’t had class/DUTY-and I terribly dislike MAKE-UP DUTIES! Errrr. You know the feeling at the end of the semester that you’re just suppose to go home, put your feet up, chill out, and see your family but then there’s that make-up duty that suck you out of it! Ugh! That’s why I’m very cautious not to get an IR (Incident Report) because when you say hello to IR you also say hi to 8 or 16 hours extension (depending on the offense) and 400 pesos/8 hrs (before it’s only 200 pesos, they doubled it because it seems like some students are not alarmed by the price they have to pay that they continuously incur IR’s).
Yesterday, I received a text message from our coordinator that the schedules are already posted and instead of having our RLE (duty) on Mon Tue Wed, it surprisingly been transferred to Thu Fri Sat! What the F?! Last sem, I’ve already bear with myself being on the Thursday group and we are expecting that our group would fall on the Monday group this time! Grrrrrr! I don’t like it simply because it takes away Saturday which is supposed to be a rest day together with Sunday! Why oh Why???? It’s heartrending. I have no choice but to deal with it, AGAIN.
"Can I marry your daughter and make her my wife. I want her to be the only girl that I love for the rest of my life And give her the best of me 'till the day that I die I'm gonna marry your princess and make her my queen She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen Can't wait to smile.. :) When she walks down the aisle On the arm of her father On the day that I marry your daughter.."
Today marks again the cry of my frustrated uterus. Sht. Why do girls have to go through this every month? And worst, I'm having dysmennorhea. :( (According to Wiki, dysmenorrhea (or dysmenorrhoea) is a gynecological medical condition of pain during menstruation that interferes with daily activities). IT'S KILLING ME! Ugh. Girls who endure the same situation as I do will be so upset-well, except for those who seem to be on cloud nine when their period arrives-you know what I mean right? ;P
Yes, I’m guilty. I’m guilty of being sluggish enough not to write anything here for such a long time. I’ve been busy (summer duty IS a nightmare), don’t ask me WHY. I’m at a lost for motivation and for a time I forgot I still do have a blog. What’s up with that? Pft.
BUT today is a new start for me and for my almost dying blog! (Uhm, I hope so?) For me not to wait anymore for a light bulb to pop in my head for ideas....
I will go after this. Booyah! (just not sure if I could carry on every day. Haha) OH WELL, ATLEAST dba? :)
Hello there! I'm ALLYSIA and this is my so-called B-L-O-G! I think blogging is always a good idea. In here I can write my own story and bare my real self, in the best way I know how-through pictures, words and whatever I choose to put. Life's unpredictable and my blog let's me roll with the punches! The best part about it is that I'm able to reveal my own self and no one has to read between the lines to get to my core. Everyone is welcome here!
I am a gentle, honest person who seems to care more of the others than of myself. Looks spirited, feisty, independent and a lively young girl with the ability to touch people's hearts. Open and honest with my feelings, I am known to act on impulse rather than reasoning. Driven by my ambition, I can be difficult at times. Although I seem to be uncaring and frivolous at first glance, in reality I am sensitive. I like to try new things and if I mess up, I can always backtrack. I can be weird sometimes. I know how to play up the strong points of my personality and how to play down the not-so-good ones. When I’m depressed expect me to EAT or RANT ONLINE. I'm not afraid to speak my mind and I'm comfortable with who I am. ü