Love Smarter

We were given a looong weekend at school, so I decided to go home. I miss home so much-my bed, my family, everything! I’m happy I’d be able to spend time here.

So, one of my friends came to visit me this weekend. Last night we were discussing certain past situations and jokingly labelled them as "emotional terrorism”. We laughed and continued on our conversation, enjoying a full evening of each other's company, snacks, and movies. After waking up this morning, our conversation wandered down the path of romance, but this time we kept the discussion in the present or future tense.

At one point, this bubbly friend looked me straight in the eye and told me that the only way to have a successful relationship was to not let go of your emotions. She insisted we needed to evaluate a potential partner with our logic, rather than our hearts and date someone for a while before even beginning to open up emotionally. I listened and nodded.

Later this afternoon I was hanging out with some friends and surprised myself when I made a comment during another conversation about romance. I swear, I talk about more topics than this. It just happened to be the subject of the weekend apparently! LOL Basically I suggested that I could enter into all the actions of a relationship without any of the emotional attachment or strings that came with it. I said perhaps it would be better if I kept my feelings in check and just carried through with the motions of dating to avoid the possibility of being vulnerable or hurt. My friend expressed surprise that I would be able to do this.

I realize how ridiculous that statement was! First of all, after thinking more about what I said I realized I don't think I am capable of doing something like that. Secondly, even if I was, I don't want to be a person like that.

But I didn't trust my own thoughts, because as already proven, they can be faulty at times. The only thing that heals those wounds is love. So though I had momentarily been convinced that putting my heart in time out would help keep it safe, I know that the ability to love and feel is the only thing turning the wrongs of our life to right.

Rather than shutting out the chances to love, it's important to let it rest in the arms of its rightful companion which is ”WISDOM". Making mistakes in love is just a part of being alive, but rather than closing it out and declaring it bad, it is important we learn from our errors and move on to love more successfully in the future.

So I am taking my heart out of time out and giving myself a break. I will not allow my past to emotionally terrorize my present and fill my future with fearful inaction. Instead I will learn from the past and make wiser decisions about my future. But my decisions are to love smarter, not love less, because loving smarter lets me love stronger.

Yes, I am.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face..

Your absence doesn’t hurt me anymore..

I am here. I am smiling.

I am. Fine.

Only Time :)

I'm Not Lost. I've Found Myself.

So I guess the old habit's back. Here I am writing crap out of my head and hoping in the future I'd be able to look back and think, "wow, now that's true inspiration" because when nobody else in this world is willing to give you any advice, sometimes the only person you have to rely on is yourself.

These past few weeks I've learned a lot. Probably too much to handle for someone easily frustrated like me. Rejection, failure, loss, and heartache.. All in less than a month. Sometimes I wonder what's the point of going on in life, if every sacrifice I put into was in vain. Or what's the use of dreaming, if the future is dictated for you. Or what's the use in trusting someone, if at the end of the day you're on your own.

But you know what, that's just a blessing in disguise. It might seem terrible and painful, but maybe that's just the thing I need. A massive wake up call.. for the fact that it's the wrong path I've been taking and I should just change lanes.

Well at the moment I am happy on how things are going for me. I am happy that I've grown as a person, I've become more mature. And the thing I'm happiest about is that I've reconnected with GOD. I am building a much deeper relationship with HIM. And guess what? That's all I really need.

"Those who joyfully leave everything in God's Hand, will eventually see God's Hand in everything."

Worry ends when Faith begins. :)


You see that girl staring into space? If you were to ask what's wrong, she would say nothing. When in reality it's everything. She's sitting there wondering what she did wrong, what she could have done differently, how she would have changed it if she had the chance. And if she had the chance to go back and do it over again, would it end with the same result? That's why she stares.

That's why I stare.